stories from the middle earth press room

my job is killing me.

while other half, my mother and i were driving along south luzon expressway last saturday, some office (that i dread to speak to during breaks and vacations) called me up and asked for my email address 'coz they're sending me an urgent statement.

oh god.

true enough, the story was big (well, in our company president's opinion anyway), that i had to turn on my tiny laptop while cruising the highway and plug my 3G phone to access the net. when i was finally able to read the statement, my laptop gave a warning sign that it's gonna die out on me since i didn't recharge it the day before. all i could do was to send the statement to desk and pray that the boss wouldn't order me to write the story "no matter what".

then i had to call several people while i was in the car to do several follow up and coordinate with central desk. my mind was working overtime trying to compose the story in my head while trying to keep myself from jumping on the roof of the car and do some loony stunts to keep other vehicles at bay and shout "let me pass! this is an emergency, i have to arrive in lb on time! my boss is gonna kill me if my story does not make it to the desk!"

thankfully, the desk called me back and told me they can't run the story since we already ran out of space. i can do the story later for the following day.

that was a huge relief. imagine na lang i would already be a basket of nerves by the time we reach calamba if they insisted that they needed the story. it took us 4 hours to reach lb from makati. the traffic was that bad.

that meant nga lang i had to write a good number of stories that night after arriving in our/my mother's house while my friends were texting me to come over the bar where we usually drink since a friend just arrived from vietnam for the holidays and was already leaving the country again the next day.

i told my bestfriend i was already dying. i had to finish the wretched stories before i could commit to any drinking binge. when i was already through with work, i arrived at the said bar at quarter to 11 pm but they had already gone to another friend's house. i gave them 20 mins. to come back for me but 30 mins had passed ut there was no sign that they're coming back anytime soon that i already gave up and said i would just go home since i was already tired. i drank one bottle of san mig light by my lonesome.

hay. the next day i had to write the story. and spend the whole afternoon at home while Other Half went gallivanting with his friends somewhere out there.

that's the kind of life that i lead these days.

---

2007 has been a roller coaster ride for me. it has been quite different from the previous years since

1) i got married and i am still not used to being called "missus" and have another name attached to the same name i've used for the past 28 years. and finally im tied to one man that i've committed to be with for the next 50 years or so.

2) been out of the country several times for leisure and work;

3) my learning curve was -- how can i say it -- put on an overdrive since i had to learn a new beat really fast and keep up with the old timers (who had covered the beat for at least a decade) while foreign and domestic events have made it as volatile as possible.

4) it was tumultuous at the office since the managemen t decided i should wreck my life by being assigned to that much reviled beat but thank god i stood my ground and battled my way out of it.

5) my ethics has been put to the test

6) there are so my things that happened it 2007 that i cannot consider my life as boring as before prior to my life as an non-journalist

i guess 2008 would be a lot more challenging since i had to finish my thesis for real and have a baby afterwards. i wonder how i can manage that.

before the christmas break, i was working like a dog with all this bullshit about some conglomerate with farmer issues, network wars and all that crap. i was working until 8 pm. i was beat. on the 21st i attended our christmas party and went home at around 2 am, unloaded some gifts, packed my bags and off we went to the airport. i was awake for more than 48 hours.

ah...boracay.

but of course i couldn't enjoy it fully since i had to write and send stories every single day i was there. good thing the hotel had wifi access in its rooms. bad thing was my asus eee pc got hit by this annoying worm that ate into my network connections. on our last day in boracay (christmas day) i resorted to sending my stories by plugging in my usb flash disk into the hotel's front desk computer.

and oh, i went parasailing. Other Half shot some photos and videos while i was up 70 to 100 meters in the air. i edited it and made a music video out of it. i only show it to my friends and family since i have my name all over it. haha.

i barely had a tan. on the 25th i woke up at 7 to catch the sun and fried myself on the beach in a final attempt to transform my pale self into a sun goddess. but still no tan. probably put too much sunblock.

damn. i couldn't work right now. my mind is still stuck between the sands. i want to go back but the problem again is TIME.

that's why i am writinng crappy stories for several days now. mind is on vacation mode.

please stop the network wars. i'm sick and tired of it.

then my articles are gutted out and mali-mali pa ang pag-hack nila, nagmumukha tuloy akong tanga.

pocha.

i installed the full XP home version ona 4GB computer. now isn't that stupid? i was tempted to nLite my XP and create an ISO image and reinstall a streamlined XP. actually, i already created an ISO image but something pulled me back and kept me from making a bootable disk and installing it on my eee pc.

buti na lang. i read the eee pc user forums first before doing so because some people had been complaining of problems since maybe 1) they've stripped down XP too much or 2) something's really wrong about stripping it down. period.

so i scanned the forums and found that this sticky about stripping down XP manually and using light applications and cleaners to keep this tiny laptop running smoothly.

there are also threads discussing the merits of using portable applications that you can use via usb flash disk and you don't have to install them in your "hard drive". i'm now trying some of them. now i can edit photos through The GIMP portable! i can do a lot of stuff now through these portable apps *hugs hugs*

what i plan to do is to install the frequently used apps (portable version) like open office, AVG, FoxIt PDF reader and pidgin on my SSD and then just install the rarely used apps (the GIMP portable, VLC player portable, 7-zip portable, clamwin portable) on my 512 usb flash drive. saves a lot of space, really.

i never realized that adobe reader is so bloated until i tried using it in eee pc. masakit pa nito if i forget to turn off the automatic downloads, nagda-download ng mga kung anu-ano 'tong adobe. napupuno SSD ko.

because of my quest for reducing my applications and OS to under 1GB of SSD space, i encountered various distros of linux like damn small linux and puppy linux that can breathe new life to old PCs running on "obsolete" hardware like laptops with less than 4GB of harddisk or so. now you can install these OSs bundled with applications (yes, puppy linux is already bundled with useful apps) in your old laptops or PCs so that you can use them for your kids or donate to your old gradeschool/highschool.

i wanted to try these OS but 1) can't wear out my SSD by installing and uninstalling various OS; 2) masyadong matrabaho papalit-palit ng OS and 3) futile since i won't keeping them, i just wanna see how these things work.

i love my asus eee pc na! a colleague told me that i looked different, hindi na haggard. bakit, anong meron daw? then she saw that i wasn't lagging my 3-kilo laptop with me. i told her i'm totally free of that burden. wheeee!

in contrast to sassy lawyer's entry about foregoing all christmas decorations and the christmas tree in proud to be grinch, i decorated the temporary house Other Half and i live in with few christmas ornaments and lights. i ditched the christmas tree because my sister-in-law's tree is so huge that it's too cumbersome to assemble. why the effort? wala lang, gusto ko lang maningning ang pasko ko.

i used to be the family grinch and persuaded my mother not to put up the tree because "di naman likas na pilipino yang krismas tree na yan eh! sino ba ang nagdala nyan? kano! baket, me snow ba sa pinas? bakit tayo maglalagay ng santa klaws dito?"

my mother gave in and we didn't have a tree that year.

ay malungkot pala walang dekorasyon.

the following year my mother bought a tree.

ngayon ko lang narealize na putting up decorations is part of our family christmas tradition. sort of. and it makes me realize that ritual is important to me ever since i transplanted myself to manila. and it is more important now that i don't live with my mother now and my father's already gone.

it's just as silly and simple as climbing the walls and ladder to hook up all those lights around the garage beams and figuring out how to set up that damned tree year in and year out but to me it's kinda special because it has always been a family effort. my ate and i would be untangling the lights while my father would be snarling his way out and shout expletives at us on how not to do it. my mother would be bringing out the tree and the teeny weeny decorations while our youngest sister would be messing up everything by stepping on these kasi pupungas-pungas pa siya bagong gising. my brother, if he was around, would be looking for the hammer and uutsan magpukpok ng pagkakabitan ng parol.

and those memories are important to me now that we have our own lives to lead and nakakamiss din yung sama-sama kaming magpasko. those memories are important for us children when we look back on christmases past.

i remember there were several snapshots of us setting up our tabletop christmas tree. for me those photos are poignant reminders of how we got by the holidays when my parents tried their best to make us feel that we are not lacking in christmas "comforts" even though they could barely make ends meet. when we couldn't afford a tree that time, i remember my father improvised by constructing a base for a "tree" and attached strings from the top of the stick that was in the middle of that thing to the base to give the "tree" a form. then we would be tying up the decorations on the strings. it's kinda hard to picture but it sure worked for us that time.

and i remember mymother curing her own ham (with all those huge needles!) because christmas hams at that time were expensive and we couldn't afford it at that time since there were 4 children who needed new clothes and gifts plus the school would be asking for "donations" or fees for the christmas presentation or "extravaganza" we would be showing our parents.

now i digress.

what i'm pointing out is, putting up decorations for christmas is not about succumbing to the commercialization of christmas but rather it is keeping the family tradition alive, now that we have gone our separate ways. the year my father died, i almost cried while i was putting all those lights because he loved having all those lights around the house, especially the kitschy ones that spew that ear-busting "jingle bells" tune. but he's not there anymore to gaze at his house that is all aglow while the mass in the church next door can be heard.

it's not about keeping up with the joneses but rather decorating our own house according to our hearts' desires. those decorations keep our spirits happier, especially now that the house is quite empty since most of us are now working in manila.

christmas extravagance is not about just for the sake of extravagance itself but it is a way of giving thanks for the blessings that we had and for rewarding ourselves for the hardships that we endured. my father always liked our christmas food because, as he said, all he ate were ordinary food. plus he doesn't have to worry about cooking rice in the morning. my siblings and cousins loved our mean potato salad, the staple during the holiday season. my mother particularly liked the idea of just lounging around because she doesn't need to cook since there is plenty of food to last us two days.

we buy gifts for each other not becase we had to but it is nice to gather around the tree at midnight or christmas morning while opening up those nicely wrapped presents. even when we were financially strained, my parents made it a point to wrap something up for us. that made our christmas special. i still remember what i received from them. even just a simple card would make my parents happy. when we were gathering my father's stuff from his rocking chair nook shortly after he died, my sister and i found the christmas (and birthday) cards we gave him. he was keeping them safe in some leather book case he had among his reading materials on a table/shelf he made. that was an indication of how he treasured even those small gifts we gave him.

for me, that is the essence of going through all those trouble of buying, cooking and decorating. christmas is about building memories and feeling good because we had each other and that is not going to last, i mean we cannot be together forever. the holiday is for us kids and kids at heart.

and your can bet that i would be following the same tradition for my own children to keep alive.

why have i suddenly become apathetic to media issues nowadays? too tired? i think it's because i'm too entrenched in it that i can't have an objective look at things right now. if i could detach myself from my work and then make a critique, an analysis of some sort then probably i could...

i'm having a hard time pondering this as i struggle with my thesis problem. how can i conduct my study without being afraid for my own skin/professional stability? as i've told my *nililigawan* na thesis adviser, baka ipako ako sa krus ng mga kasama ko. can't be specific about my thesis problem here. mahirap na.

--

there was a pair of UP masscom students who went to my beat to interview me about this and that for their thesis. a few questions from them alam ko na kung ano ang gusto nilang patunguhan: cartel and kuryente. huli ko agad sila. hehe. nawindang tuloy yung dalawa.

i told them mahirap yan. they should frame the questions na maayos kasi baka pagtulung-tulungan sila ng mga reporters na iinterviewhin nila sa beat, lalo na balak nilang interviewhin ang mga to sa press room ng mga beats nila na maririnig ng kapwa reporters ang mga sagot sa tanong.

sabi ko masyadong obvious yung questions nila, leading baga. number 1 rule: if you want to keep your agenda hidden, ask open-ended questions. sabi ko di lahat ng reporters eh mababait at papraangkahin sila. yung ibang salbahe, baka palabasin at pauwiin lang sila, lalo na sa mga beat na heavy sa cartel.

rule no 2: ayusin nila sequence ng tanong nila. parang sabog kasi yung mga tanong nila na obvious naman kung ano ang gusto nilang makuha. like "how do you get your news?" sunod na tanong "how is your relationship with other reporters?". huh? at first parang walang relationship yung dalawang tanong na magkasunod. pero obvioius naman na ang gusto nilang mahuli is "do other reporters provide you with news that you will write?" or short of asking na "sino ponente nyo dito?"

buti na lang di pa sila nakakapag interview masyado. eh pano na kung nagsimula muna sila sa mababangis na beats?

anyway, i answered them truthfully about what is happening in my beat and my past beat. kuryente? di ko alam kung yun na nga ba ang tawag dun sa nangyari sa akin na one time i had a blog entry before that said "nice people get eaten". na naprove ko lahat eh trabaho lang.

so anyway, i'm thinking whether i should go with my thesis problem, a sensitive topic to *some* colleagues. but as my professor said, wala pang lliterature about *this*.

but Other Half is colder than i am. he's in shanghai right now, his ass freezing over there at 7 to 2 degrees C. i am perfectly fine here, thank you. i don't fancy mainland china right now especially in the dead of winter.

i'm here in elbi, not really freezing but also cold. i am wearing my "Christmas-is-here-bitin-pyjamas" and contemplating whether to leave at 8 am or at 11 am tomorrow.

*sigh* i love christmas.

--

my friends (well most of my readers are friends or releatives anyway) are probably wondering why i am not writing about the manila pen siege eh alam nila ako ang unang-unang magrereact sa mga ganyang bagay...somehow i find it hard to criticize anyone without being prejudiced or unbiased. i wouldn't add to the clutter in the blogosphere about it, probably thousands of bloggers have said their piece on the issue. let me just play the evil's advocate para maiba naman.

ang di ko lang maiexplain o maarticulate ng maayos is whether abs-cbn was overboard about the posas thing? ang hirap kasi kasama na ako sa industriya na kinukutya ng sangkatutak na blogs ngayon. hehe. ang masama pa nito minsan totoo.

like for example madaming nagsasabing mga blogs no one is above the law, even press IDs. i cringe at the thought. kasi nakakahiya man aminin, totoong maraming media men and women na feeling above the law porque me press ID when in fact it doesn't even mean a thing. madaming kilala ako at mga kaibigan na inilalabas lang nila press ID nila para di sila makasama sa coding o mahuli kahit totoong may traffic violations. na kesyo reporter me karapatan nang mang-away ng presidente ng isang kumpanya na me ari ng isang mall dahil hindi pinagbubuksan ng escalator dahil papasara na ang mall (pramis, totoo yan). araw-araw me mga pangyayaring ganyan. so masisi mo ba ako na kahit peryodista ako na naiisip ko din na mga kasama ko sa hanap-buhay eh abusado and akala mo kung sino? above the law baga.

pero sa kabilang banda, di ba sobra naman ang magposas eh for questioning nga lang daw? eh di ba pag naposasan ka ang connotation non criminal ka or you violated the law? at sabi pa ng katrabaho ko na involved sa isa sa mga dinala sa bicutan, pinag-"piano" daw sila sa ink for finger prints and may matching mug shots pa.

pero di ko rin masabi kung SOP yun pag "for questioning" o the police went overboard. mahirap magsalita nang hindi ko nalalaman ang facts. mahirap din kasi ang source ko lang ng impormasyon eh media, na bias din. i'm half libra; i make decisions and form opinions based on two opposing opinions and forces and weigh my options ergo dapat makuha ko din ang side ng kabila.

masasabi ko lang masyadong hysterical ang coverage ng ABS-CBN ng incident. syempre di ko masabi yun sa harap ng mga kilala ko at kasama ko sa trabaho, di ba? atsaka nga pala natatangahan ako mag-anchor talaga ke karen davila. naririndi ako sa kanya.

sabi naman ng isang colleague, ang isa sa mga real motivations bakit nagpapakabayani ang ibang reporters at nag-stay dun kahit pinalalabas na eh dahil sa takot ma-scoopan. tipo bang, "ha? di ako aalis andito siyete eh." or "andun dos? teka, teka susugod ako di pwedeng mawala ako." (di ako maysabi nyan ha!)

and of course, service to the nation. ehehehehe.

eh kasi ganun din naman kami minsan sa print eh. lalo na pag ang boss mo me binabantayan na particular na dyaryo...pag lumabas na dun, di na pwedeng lumabas sa inyo. or kelangan dapat mauna ka kesa sa kabilang dyaryo na binabantayan ng boss mo.

mas competitive sa wires. isang minuto lang ang diprensya nyo sa pagbato ng balita, issue na agad yun sa regional office (i.e. singapore or HK or japan).

so probably kaya may nangahas na mag-stay sa hotel eh dahil ayaw magpahuli sa balita. o sa kalaban.

call me a wuss. di pa rin ako gumagawa ng critique of the event nor a call for protest.

noise? adventure? game? i mean, if you're gonna stage a revolution, better gather the people and muster enough support before barging in some hotel and crowning yourself a hero before anything "meaningful" happened. people are sick and tired of GMA but if trillanes is the only alternative, wag na lang. if he really wanted to show his sincerity to the cause, sana he stood his ground and hayaan nang mataaman ng bala. sus, sundalo ba yun?

as for the protection/sake of media men ek-ek kaya siya sumuko, i'm sorry pero they put themselves in danger by not leaving as told by the police. so dapat hinayaan na lang ni trillanes. at sana nagpakamartyr na lang siya and hayaan nang madaanan siya ng tangke. who knows, that may spark a "revolution". hehe.

i received a fowarded text message from my sister that sums up the manila pen seige:

"Lessons learned from Trillanes:

1. pwede pala maglakad from makati trial court to manila pen.
2. kasya pala tangke sa hotel
3. pag napoposasan pala mediam nakakalimutan ang nag-aaklas. sila muna pinaguusapan
4. di pala (ma)ganda si Pinky Webb pag walang make-up
5. kulot pala si Ces Drilon pag di nag-blower

Kaya mga kaibigan, wag kakalimutan Trillanes, d educator sa 2010, para sa pagkapangulo ng mga sundalong madaling sumuko!"

hehe. nagtext kuya ko na engot-engot daw si arnold clavio kasi ang sabi ba naman eh lieutenant sgt. i wonder who won the ratings war that day...


Shifting from Linux to Windows XP

it breaks my heart (i like Xandros na) but i had to change my OS from linux to windows XP home (same as my 15.2" laptop's OS) to solve my connectivity problems (nokia pc suite and external portable modem) since i wasn't able to find any useful (or working) commands that would solve my asus eee pc teething problems. (oh yes, i was learning all those "sudo" ek-ek commands to update and install software and updates).

finally, i erased my xandros and installed windows last night. all night. *sniff*


but before that, you have to have a usb external optical drive to install windows and the suport disc from asus to install the drivers. i am P3,000 poorer because of this optical drive but it made life easier. someone from tipidpc was able to install windows using two bootable flash disk drives. i didn't bother trying that out.