i was supposed to go to the library today. but nooooo, UP diliman decided to go half-day today. SONA really messing up my schedule, as it always does for a number o years. no use is spending 1.5 hrs on the road just to go home again at noon.

spent my day looking for answers. answers to that blasted ergo proxy. that anime really messed me up. i mean ghost in the shell stand alone complex 1 and 2 were complicated but i was able to follow them and understand it 96 percent of the time. but this other anime is insane!

i mean, i needed to watch this twice, thrice and even four times just to understand this. i watched the confusing episodes today and searched for episode guides/blogs instead of watching the SONA as my boss asked us to do. oh well, i’m on leave anyway. i’m excused. i don’t want to be bothered by GMA today.

it turns out 99 percent of the viewers of ergo proxy also had a hard time digesting the series. that’s why they had to resort to blogs like this and this.

don’t be fooled by the snapshots i’ve taken (via VLC media player). the story is not easy to follow. every episode holds surprises and some leave you bewildered. some episodes at first seemed like they don’t make sense but then you’ll just find yourself in the middle of something very important, all the information is vital to the story and your mind is so busy trying to figure out the episode that you lose track of what the episode is trying to reveal. gaaaah!

i needed a helping hand. those blogs really helped me understand this series. sheesh. as i’ve said, this anime is good and quite engaging but it leaves you really confused.

—

i guess this madness will end pretty soon (i guess tomorrow) since i already get the whole picture of this anime. sheesh. i’ll turn to the next anime in my list…nuninuninuninu…

randy pausch, the carnegie mellon professor who delivered his wildly popular last lecture before a jampacked auditorium in his alma mater, died on friday (sat, manila time).

basically he told us to live the life to the fullest and achieve your dreams because you are only given one shot at it.

why am i talking about him now?

it has been three years (on monday) since my father, also a university professor, died in his sleep. was he able to give his last lecture? not probably to his students. probably to us, during his last days. or probably his whole life with us is one big “last lecture”.

but he is not the best person to give a last lecture and he would be the first one to say that. first of all he did not live his life to the fullest and he was a very bitter man to the very end. he harbored so much anger and hatred against those who hurt him and he had so many baggage that even his children were forced to carry them. he had so many regrets and he didn’t realize that those things have come to pass and nothing could ever change them. but rather he should have focused on what he could do at the present time when he had the chance.

those are words from the song the rain by foreverinmotion. i find these lines so apt and that what is pausch tried to instill in us. i wish my father did see that.

but other than that, he was a good father in a sense he was always there for us, even if he was not the cuddly father type that we see on TV. he always taught us to be morally upright and fight for those who are less fortunate than us. he taught us to love this damned country. he always had our needs his priority before his own. as i said before, he would always rather use his old advan shoes than buy a new good one so just we could have new ones for school.

my father, i think, craved recognition, just like the rest of us. but he did not get it from several quarters because he operated outside the system. if given the chance, he challenged the system. and he told me that those who try to challenge the system always get whopped up in the ass or get killed. and even in UP — an environment that nurtures challengers — those who try to go against the brick wall will have a hard time.

so what was his last lecture to me? i don’t really see it as a lecture but three days before he died as i was about to leave for UP diliman, he talked to me about getting married and he told me to tell Other Half that he could get a permanent position in this and that…he ranted about GMA imposing a de facto martial law and we are in deep shit… that monday i was hurrying to get back to manila because GMA was about to block SLEX in preparation for her SONA and the government was preventing “destabilizers” from entering metro manila. i was worried i may get stranded in elbi and may not be able to attend my class.

i was having a rather severe asthma attack that day (and funny, i have an asthma attack today, too) he told me not to drink cold water for breakfast as it may induce more coughing. he cooked breakfast for me.

i wish i had not left that day. to hell with GMA, the blocking of SLEX and her SONA. i could have sat down longer at the dining table and listened to my father talk. i did not know that it would be the last time i would hear him talk. i didn’t know it was the last time that he would talk to me.

and that’s the essence of my father’s death. everything fades and we have to seize the moment for it will all come to pass. lucky for pausch, he realized this before his time is up. he learned to let go. i hope my father in his last hours was able to.

was about to leave for UP last thursday morning when i felt a stabbing pain deep down in my upper abdomen, somewhere under the ribcage. i thought it was just gas or something but the pain deepened up to the point it radiated all over my body that left me almost immobilized.

i crumpled to the floor. i could hardly breathe because of the extreme pain. i called up Other Half. i thought my appendix has exploded or something worse.

i almost crawled to the front door and told our housekeeper to hail a taxi to take me to the hospital. my vision ocassionally blacked out due to extreme pain. the taxi driver was beside himself with worry (fear? panic?) and was already shouting at my housekeeper to hurry up and she should get inside the cab pronto.

problem is we both don’t know where the nearest hospital is since i am a new resident in the area and the taxi driver was a stranger in our subdivision. i told him to ask the traffic officer at the intersection where the hospital is. when i heard the policeman/traffic officer said pasig general hospital was to the right, Other Half told me on my cellphone to go to Medical City instead.

damn. one of the most expensive hospitals around. what the hell, i was in extreme pain.

then visions of the east avenue medical center emergency dept flashed before my eyes and i remembered suddenly that my aunt spent hours there before any physician could attend to her — and she was a hit-and-run victim, mind you.

ok, then medical city it is.

the doctors and nurses attended to me right away. asked so many questions while i was writhing in pain. then somebody stuck something painful into my blood vessel. then injected a number of meds.

got bored inside the observation room, i took a photo using my cellphone

but i can tolerate that kind of pain as long as the searing pain inside of me subsides. it took an hour or more before i could rate the pain 5/10.

i went through some standard tests: urinalysis, blood tests and some (i think) unnecessary visit to the ob-gyne and surgery. they were even thinking of doing some x-rays on me and ultra-sound but abandoned the idea. i don’t know why but good thing they did. just thinking about the hospital bill made me want to walk out and declare myself healed.

they found i had UTI but that was an isolated case and did not explain the original pain. they could not diagnose what was wrong with me. in the end one doctor said i probably had too much acids inside my stomach. my pancreas was normal and my appendix is located on the other side of my belly and not where the pain was concentrated.

probably.

i stayed there for almost the whole day (got in the morning, walked out late afternoon) and i just probably had extreme hyperacidity due to stress as one doctor suggested?! why couldn’t do a test on that, i mean about the stomach acids? i need Gregory House, now!

my bill was not as expensive as i feared it would be but that amount is already equal to what i would be spending for my carpal tunnel syndrome operation i would probably have next month. ouch it hurts a lot. i wanted to be sick again. my sister’s boss was sent to the emergency of that hospital and for 3 hours the boss was billed at least P15,000. he/she requested to be transferred elsewhere for treatment.

anyway, i called my mother while Other Half drove us home. she said my carpal tunnel meds may have triggered the acids. then i remembered my ortho telling me that i would probably have gastro problems if i don’t take care in taking the meds. i don’t know if i’m or my mother’s right but probably these were the culprit.

what i don’t get is… i volunteered those info about the meds to the attending doctors and told them that probably one of those could have undone me. one of them said those meds didn’t matter at all.

or my mom and ortho could be wrong.

next time, sa elbi na lang ako magpapagamot. shet.

been subsisting on a steady diet of anime whenever i am not locked away in some library (been to the ateneo library the whole day today).

the latest anime that i’ve watched for at least 12 straight hours this past weekend is ergo proxy, which really turned my mind to mush because of its complicated story. save for the pretentious philosophical ek-ek the animators included at the end of each episode, the series is really good.

dammit. couldn’t take it off my mind. it doesn’t hurt, too, that i like the opening song of the series. already downloaded the full version by monoral (a japanese band).

the anime is about existentialism (ghost in the shell, anyone?) and its bottom line is “therefore, i think, i am”. i’m having a hard time trying to explain the story here (i’m now composing it inside my head) but it eludes me. let’s see…the story started with Re-L Mayer, the granddaughter of Romdeau (Romdo?)’s steward. Romdeau is a domed city — almost utopian — with robots (called autorevs) providing assistance (entourage) or companionship (companion autorevs) to humans, who cannot function without them, so it seemed.

the plot thickens with the entry of vincent law, an immigrant from moscow/mosque (sorry the subtitles in my DVD are not consistent), into the picture. it seems like he has some connection with the proxy that escaped the government’s laboratory.

his and Re-L’s fate got intertwined…by some force that made it seem like it was destined to be. but vincent is not what he seemed to be. by the end of the series, my mouth was hanging inches above the floor because vincent is so complicated and it is his fault that he became complicated. i blame him.

i had to watch the series again with the help of some internet info that i got to better understand ergo proxy. i missed out a lot of details because i was concentrating on trying to understand it, if you know what i mean. the series loves to play with your mind and slowpokes like me really have to review the series to get it. it seems like i’m not the only one since i’ve read in some forums that many had to watch ergo proxy again in english and japanese to fully get it.

at least this is better than samurai deeper kyo, the last anime series na kinarir ko (i.e. di ako natulog). kakabadtrip sa kababawan yun pero i just needed some closure. at first it had a lot of promise but then the bad script/plot got in the way. plus the subtitles of my 2 dvd sets were freaking bad. the first set was really bad that i had to buy another one, which was also equally bad. i just watched the rest of it on veoh. according to some forums, the manga is waaay much better than the animated one.

next one on my list is shounen onmyouji.

–

i’m turning into a complete nerd. lots of books by day, anime by night. sheesh. i guess this is how i compensate…i nearly crashed and burned two months ago. reminds me of my younger sister who was on the verge of a breakdown last year. she resigned from her job, stayed in our home in the province for 3 months and did nothing but watched anime.

now she’s nearing hysteria again because she’s a workaholic like me. she goes home at 9.30 pm every day even if her official time is only from 8 am to 5 pm.

i’m making progress with my thesis. whoopee! dapat lang naman noh. araw-araw na akong nasa library since i’m exhausting all studies related to my study. mejo mahirap nga pala gumawa ng disseration na pang-master’s level na. pwede namang madali lang gawin ko, di ba? pero ewan ko ba bat pinakokomplika ko buhay ko.

and probably there may be a lot of their kind out there. this ambassador to the UN Lauro Baja Jr. is so — i can’t find a single word to describe him and his deed — but what the marichu suarez baoanan claims may not be only be happening in the Baja household but in other diplomat’s households as well. there are hundreds of similar stories around. as i’ve said before in my one of my entries about household help, a lot of people exploit these people’s desperate situations.

and if the ambassador’s son is la*ro baja III of UBS, then — no wonder he’s that obnoxious. we hated that guy. he treats us like dirt. he’s too mayabang for his own good.

some snatcher got my phone. that @#$%^&* bugger! i bought that with (part of) my 13th month pay. while i was walking along shaw blvd. near shangri-la plaza going to the mrt station yesterday morning (take note, it was broad daylight), that friggin’ devil opened my bag and got my phone. he must have been with me inside the jeep since he knew where it was. or he was just lucky.

ok, let’s just look at the brighter side. he didn’t get my wallet or ipod (the replacement unit i got from apple). or he didn’t point a knife at me. or i wasn’t hurt or something.

a colleague told me that during a crisis, these buggers strike more frequently. but that’s the point! we’re in an economic crisis so i can’t freely spend money for a replacement phone!

another painful thing here is that i will have to change numbers since i am a prepaid subscriber. i’ve had that number for at least 4 years. good thing i have backed up my contact list in my laptop.

again, again, again. repeat after me: just look at the brighter side. he didn’t get my wallet or ipod (the replacement unit i got from apple). or he didn’t point a knife at me. or i wasn’t hurt or something…

just a few moments ago, i was waiting for our dektop to finish scanning my 4G flashdisk when i suddenly felt dizzy and the floor was swaying underneath me. i saw the picture frame above me shaking. the quake — i guess it was an earthquake — was quite long…about 30 seconds to a minute? i was shouting at Other Half to wake up from his cat nap and said we’re having an earthquake. he woke up when it had stopped shaking.

too soon for online news to tell what was that reall, the strength and the epicenter.

would have to wait a bit for news.

UPDATE: Quake rocks Metro Manila; Phivolcs says no damage reported

QUEZON CITY, Philippines - An earthquake was felt in parts of Metro Manila and Rizal province Sunday night, but state seismologists said no damage was reported.

Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (Phivolcs) director Renato Solidum Jr. cited initial information indicating the quake was tectonic in origin.

“So far ang intensity, Intensity 3 sa Quezon City. Naramdaman sa Manila and Pasig-Cainta (So far the reports we got showed it was felt at Intensity 3 in Quezon City. It was also felt in Manila and in Pasig-Cainta area),” he said in an interview on dzBB radio.

He said they are still tracing the epicenter of the quake, which he said was recorded at 8:01 p.m. - GMANews.TV

my internet connection is sputtering again. i already did a lengthy blog entry earlier, just when i hit the “publish” button, the connection went kaput.

and it has been like that for weeks now.

when i woke up this morning, my eyes suddenly strayed to the disconnection notice from bayantel on my beside table. that suddenly pulled me up from my yummy bed. i called up bayantel and there seemed to be some billing error. i told them i just paid my bayantel wireless two weeks ago.

after the misunderstanding has been settled, i leafed through the wads of bills in my hands. one of these was globe. i suddenly remembered that i had to settle something with the ayala-owned company, which is now being eaten up by SingTel.

i inquired about their lowest priced wired package without landline and the broadband speed. it turns out it’s P999 for 1 Mbps.

i’m paying the the same amount for a paltry 768 kbps. i verified this with the agent and she said yun nga lang ang speed ko. hell, i’m not getting my money’s worth!

i asked if they could upgrade me. the customer service agent said, no, i had to go to a globelines office for that and request for an upgrade and file the necessary documents. since the connection is under my husband’s brother-in-law’s name (since he is the owner of the house that we live in), the agent said i had to secure an authorization letter from my bilas. i said it’s kinda difficult for me because my bilas lives abroad.

basta ganun daw.

i asked why is that i had to go through all that trouble when it is my right that they should upgrade me because they’re not rendering me the service i’m fully paying for? i told her that when i was still a bayantel DSL subscriber, all i had to do was call for an upgrade and voila, after 48 hours my connection was upgraded.

sagot nya? “eh ma’am hindi naman kasi lahat nagrerequest ng upgrade eh.”

#%^&* eh kasi naman kaya hindi nagrerequest ng upgrade ang mga tao kasi di nila alam. it is not advertised. they’re scamming people. damn you globe!

my husband told me to call the globe PR again and ask why are they scamming people like this?

i don’t want to be a reporter from hell but hey, this is a legitimate complaint against a company with a supposedly high corporate governance marks. good thing that globe is not under my watch (since it is with another co-worker) or else…i don’t know what i would have done. probably globe will hear a mouthful from me.

Dear Globe,

you still suck, despite the rebranding. but it seems like i don’t have a choice but to be stuck with you since PLDT is reportedly much worse and bayantel doesn’t hold (yet) a franchise here in the eastern part of metro manila and rizal. until then, i will not cease writing/blogging about you and your friggin’ bad service. and you will still hear from me now and then. i just pity your corp. comm people since i will be emailing them another complaint.

yun lang po.

–

A BAYANTEL COMPLAINT

baka naman kasi sabihin nyo biased ako masyado. madami din akong reklamo sa bayantel. for example andami kong dropped calls basta PLDT tinatawagan ko. sagot naman sa akin ng brand manager ng bayantel, may “connection problems” daw sila with PLDT.

syempre intregera ako, i asked, “is this similar to the ‘interconnection problems’ that globe had with smart years ago?”

he said, “i don’t know…” in short bahala na ako maginsinuate.

andaming pagkakataon din na hindi ako makaconnect agad sa isang dial lang. may mga araw na pahirapan talaga.

i can’t get a signal when i am in lower ground floor level of a hotel or a mall. but my bayantel has a signal and i can make calls inside the meralco theater, which has a cellphone signal blocker. syempre noh, a lopez company will not “kill” another lopez company.

i can’t get a signal inside our house here in cainta. i can’t get a signal is some parts of CMC. and to think that bayantel’s main office is just in diliman, near UP village.

pero kasi kahit may mga hassle na ganun parang mas matimbang pa rin yung benepisyo na nabibigay sa akin ng wireless landline. i can set up an office anywhere kasi. just plug in my 3G phone in my UMPC if i don’t have any means of connecting to the internet and use my wireless landline to call sources. tapos.

pero nakakairita na talaga yang mga dropped calls na yan ha.