ok, i slept at 4 am and now i’m already alive at 8:30 am. i seriously lack sleep because of that friggin’ book, about a girl falling desperately in love with a handsome vampire.

i read it because i’m supposed to accompany my best friend to see twilight, probably next week when she comes to manila. so i got the ebook from my cousin and read it so i won’t get lost when i watch the movie adaptation.

it was like reading sweet dreams all over again, only with vampires and a lot of kissing and hugging. i thought i would feel so kilig with it because edward cullen (the vampire) is mushy in his brooding, sweet and sensitive way. strangely though i didn’t feel as giddy as my bestfriend probably because edward was too mushy na for my taste. if i could re-write twilight, i’ll probably cut the mushy moments because it was too long.

but if i do that, millions of people would burn me at the stakes, just like what they used to do to suspected vampires and witches.

or probably i have grown up.

hindi rin eh. i read fantasy for young adult fiction now (diana wynne jones et al) so i can’t say i’ve grown up. probably i just have a more realistic view of men in general and i know they are not edward cullen. as i’ve been saying to my cousin through YM, edward cullen is clearly a male created by a female writer who could not exist in this plane, in this universe (excluding the fact that he’s a vampire who does not kill people).

as one you tube commenter said: “its makes me mad that the most perfect guy in the world only exists inside of a book…”  

ok, i’m talking with my sister now through YM. she tells me i’m just a cynic kaya di ako kinikilig katulad ng pagkakilig ng mga friends namin. and also through YM, scribbledbabbling told me that it’s difficult not to be a cynic with my work, my environment.

should i go back and try to read old sweet dreams to get my kilig back? i think i’ll watch love letter by shunji iwai first. what’s wrong with me?

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update: i guess nothing is wrong with me. another colleague (who is not in the same league) said the book(s) is like the fantasies of a housewife…

that was kinda harsh but it’s somewhat true. i had trouble with reading through the books (still halfway with the second since i got tired of it) and i wanted to edit and rewrite them. but then, i should not expect too much from a book(s) that is aimed at tweens and teens. great prose doesn’t come that way that often. LOTR is a heavy read for them but then that’s good literature…i read the the 4 books (including silmarillon) during christmas break every year.

but i have to admit i read the vampire books to see how it will end, how the author will tie it up. closure ba. just like with the dan brown books, it’s not great writing but the premise is intriguing enough for me to finish it.

the problem with me these days is that i haven’t read any good books lately, by those authors that can make the english language dance, if you know what i mean. i need those to keep me from being mechanical in my writing. my steady diet of pulp fiction is not helping me at all. but then i tend to avoid books that make me think because i am already exhausted at the end of the day and all i want to do is escape.

so i’m stuck with young adult books. hahaha.