i spent the entire morning (until 2 pm actually) last sunday scanning highschool pictures of my classmates and shared these with them for a trip down the memory lane through facebook. it was tedious but kind of rewarding since my classmates were surprised that i had pictures of events they don’t remember yet they were there.

even back then, i was already fond of taking snapshots of seemingly mundane things or ordinary things on ordinary days. back then it seemed like i was just wasting a lot of films since i just took photos at random. and i wasn’t even in the frame (but of course, i was the photographer!).

how i wish i had money then so i could’ve taken more photos. these “random” photos now are precious as they gave me and my batchmates a clear view of what we were doing then and how we looked then when we were not posing for the camera.

when we bought our canon SLR when i was in college (for my photography class), i “wasted” rolls of films and captured our tambay days at the college steps, our drinking sprees, meetings i had with batchmates in front of the auditorium…again, i wish i had more money for processing and films so i could’ve documented our tambay days in one batchmate’s apartment, our (my brods and sisses) moments together like the newwspaper drive, carwash, rummage sale — all those crazy money-making schemes we were coming out with…

it’s nice to digitize them now and share these with friends over facebook so we can reminisce together. it was hard to share these before, pre-digital life since it involves negatives and recopying. quite expensive i must say.

with the advent of digital cameras and camera phones, we are now taking snapshots of almost everything. we’re documenting our lives more and in more detail than ever before. maybe that has lessened the “preciousness” of those moments. but maybe after 10 years i would be telling myself, “i wish i had taken  more photos of this and that” or “documented this and that in detail”. i was telling myself that when my father died and said i should’ve taken more photos of him with my digicam when he was still alive. i could’ve kicked myself.

i have so many digital photos of my family and friends that i still have to have printed out and arrange in an album. whatever for, you might ask. i dunno, maybe to complete the documenting experience. all my travel albums have cut outs of the brochures of the places i went to, the places where i ate or visited, the airline ticket stubs or boarding passes.

yes, it creates clutter but you’ll never know, these may become of some value in the future. a tool to remind me or my children of my past without the aid of cyberspace and the computer. for me, online or digital albums are convenient but so impersonal to me. devoid of the personality of the person documenting an event…

so when i scanned my highschool photos, i couldn’t help myself — i had this pain or some weird feeling inside akin to something i feel when i am about to cry. i couldn’t bring back the simple life, the carefree life i had then. growing up was torture (teenage angst) but i would love to have that kind of life again. i was in a hurry to grow up then. but now i am now wishing to be back there again, in that school, to sing in a glee club again, to act on stage again, to have all the time in the world to hang out with my friends at the lobby, just to have time…

it’s nice to look at those times again but i guess retrogressing is not healthy. it seems like i’m shirking from my responsibilities. i have to move forward. i still have a job waiting for me tonight.