THE SOAP OPERA OF OUR LIVES
had dinner with scribbledbabbling (happy bday dearie!), her better half, and potatochips last night at promenade greenhills. towards the end of the dinner, we got to talk about the conversation our parents had (scribbledbabbling's dad and my mom) in the car when they went home (or back to manila) to our hometown in batangas for the undas.
*cue Maalaala Mo Kaya*
my mother and my uncle were reminiscing the days when they were gusgusing bata, who only had a few clothes on their backs and they seldom had water for bathing and washing clothes. people in their town looked down on them because they were dirty and poor.
"malayo ang narating na natin. dati kung mapandirihan nila tayo..." my mom said.
then somehow my mom's and uncle's conversation veered towards my father and their family. my father's story is something akin to televnovelas -- kahit nga ngayon di na nila masusulat na ganon klaseng storya kasi it's so cliche. pero totoo yun nangyari sa pamilya ng tatay ko. it's hard to believe but it's true!
so now scribbledbabbling, you know why my father was like that.
anyway, the soap opera started with my paternal grandmother, who was the only daughter among the children of this don in our town with his first wife. this don (my great-grandfather) was landed (had a spanish ancestor who put up fences on lands in our town umabot hanggang bundok and claimed these properties for his own). they were rich. it was said they were the first family to own an automobile in our town when the rest of the population went around their business barefoot. my grandmother was educated, which was uncommon for a girl in those feudal days.
by some twist of fate, she fell in love with a poor farmer (my grandfather), who turned out to be born out of wedlock (double whammy). they ran away to san pablo, laguna where my grandfather worked as a majordomo for some landed family. it was said that family was a friend of president quezon and there was one time the president came there to visit while my grandfather was there.
of course, my grandmother could not bear to be away from her family even though they have become an outcast -- and talagang itinakwil na sila ng don (can't call him great grand-dad, sorry) -- so they decided to go back home. ang masakit pa nito my grandmother tried to live with her siblings with her family in tow. she wanted to be accepted again by the family, which was next to impossible.
because maybe living conditions were intolerable for my grandfather, my grandparents lived apart the rest of their lives: he in his little hovel in his farm on the other side of the town while she lived in the house surrounded by her siblings' houses/properties. they only visit each other everyday.
because my grandmother was desperate to be accepted again by her matapobre family, she made it a point that her children would not fight with their rich cousins. there were many instances na kahit may kasalanan yung mga pinsan nila, mga tatay ko pa rin ang pinaparusahan. para bang ang laging tama yung mga pinsan nila at sila ang laging magpakumbaba.
anyway, there was one instance na nilatigo daw ng don ang lolo and tiya ko (who were together at that time). imagine, nangyayari pala sa totoong buhay yun! hanggang sa bago mamatay tatay ko, sambit-sambit pa rin nya yung incident na yun.
there was another time that nung isang tiyo tumakbong pagka-mayor ata and namigay ng campaign shirts bearing the family name (well, my grandma's family name for that matter). nabigyan tatay ko, so sinuot niya one day. nakita siya ng isang pinsan suot yung shirt -- ba naman, pinahuhubad sa tatay ko dahil WALA DAW KARAPATAN ang tatay ko isuot yun or he doesn't have the right to bear the name. ganun.
may pinsan naman tatay ko nanligaw sa classmate nila. binasted si pinsan dahil crush nya pala tatay ko. nagalit si pinsan sa tatay ko at sinuntok. di makalaban tatay ko kasi bawal lumaban/makipag-away sa pinsan nilang mayayaman. pag-uwi ng tatay ko, siya pa ang pinarusahan ng lola ko just because ang mga pinsan nila ang tama. ang mga _____ ang laging tama.
that's why my father was so bitter all his life. he grew up na inaapi and kinukutya ng mga mas "nakakataas" sa kanya. kaya may deep-seated anger siya sa mga mayayaman. galit din siya sa mga kamag-anak ng nanay niya. kaya we never really got to know that side of the family. well anyway, i'm not that interested.
gusto ko magalit sa lola ko. i mean, bakit nya pa kasi pinagsiksikan sarili niya sa panilya nya eh itinakwil na nga siya. in a way pinagpalit niya ang sarili niyang pamilya just to win the good graces of her parents and siblings. at the expense of her children's and husband's emotional stability and happiness.
what do i care? kasi we also bore the brunt of my father's bitterness and anger. and he always felt he was inferior. when i analyze all the things that happened and the causes and effects of things in our lives, dun ko pa rin nate-trace eh...sa ginawa ng lola ko.
kaso ano magagawa ko? mapapagalitan ko ba lola ko? for a time i hated my lola for that. pero wala naman magagawa ang hate. it's all in the past. pero i don't want to have anything to do with them in the future. wala lang. hindi sila kasama kahit sa periphery ng horizon ko.
nakikipag-friendster yung _____ clan sa akin. tagal na nakabinbin sa friends for approval ko yung invitation na yun. di ko naman sila kilala and wala akong intention makipagkilala sa kanila.
hah. nahawa ako ng bitterness. it's bad, i know. pero mas maganda nang wala akong naririnig na mga kwento sa kanila.
*cue Maalaala Mo Kaya*
my mother and my uncle were reminiscing the days when they were gusgusing bata, who only had a few clothes on their backs and they seldom had water for bathing and washing clothes. people in their town looked down on them because they were dirty and poor.
"malayo ang narating na natin. dati kung mapandirihan nila tayo..." my mom said.
then somehow my mom's and uncle's conversation veered towards my father and their family. my father's story is something akin to televnovelas -- kahit nga ngayon di na nila masusulat na ganon klaseng storya kasi it's so cliche. pero totoo yun nangyari sa pamilya ng tatay ko. it's hard to believe but it's true!
so now scribbledbabbling, you know why my father was like that.
anyway, the soap opera started with my paternal grandmother, who was the only daughter among the children of this don in our town with his first wife. this don (my great-grandfather) was landed (had a spanish ancestor who put up fences on lands in our town umabot hanggang bundok and claimed these properties for his own). they were rich. it was said they were the first family to own an automobile in our town when the rest of the population went around their business barefoot. my grandmother was educated, which was uncommon for a girl in those feudal days.
by some twist of fate, she fell in love with a poor farmer (my grandfather), who turned out to be born out of wedlock (double whammy). they ran away to san pablo, laguna where my grandfather worked as a majordomo for some landed family. it was said that family was a friend of president quezon and there was one time the president came there to visit while my grandfather was there.
of course, my grandmother could not bear to be away from her family even though they have become an outcast -- and talagang itinakwil na sila ng don (can't call him great grand-dad, sorry) -- so they decided to go back home. ang masakit pa nito my grandmother tried to live with her siblings with her family in tow. she wanted to be accepted again by the family, which was next to impossible.
because maybe living conditions were intolerable for my grandfather, my grandparents lived apart the rest of their lives: he in his little hovel in his farm on the other side of the town while she lived in the house surrounded by her siblings' houses/properties. they only visit each other everyday.
because my grandmother was desperate to be accepted again by her matapobre family, she made it a point that her children would not fight with their rich cousins. there were many instances na kahit may kasalanan yung mga pinsan nila, mga tatay ko pa rin ang pinaparusahan. para bang ang laging tama yung mga pinsan nila at sila ang laging magpakumbaba.
anyway, there was one instance na nilatigo daw ng don ang lolo and tiya ko (who were together at that time). imagine, nangyayari pala sa totoong buhay yun! hanggang sa bago mamatay tatay ko, sambit-sambit pa rin nya yung incident na yun.
there was another time that nung isang tiyo tumakbong pagka-mayor ata and namigay ng campaign shirts bearing the family name (well, my grandma's family name for that matter). nabigyan tatay ko, so sinuot niya one day. nakita siya ng isang pinsan suot yung shirt -- ba naman, pinahuhubad sa tatay ko dahil WALA DAW KARAPATAN ang tatay ko isuot yun or he doesn't have the right to bear the name. ganun.
may pinsan naman tatay ko nanligaw sa classmate nila. binasted si pinsan dahil crush nya pala tatay ko. nagalit si pinsan sa tatay ko at sinuntok. di makalaban tatay ko kasi bawal lumaban/makipag-away sa pinsan nilang mayayaman. pag-uwi ng tatay ko, siya pa ang pinarusahan ng lola ko just because ang mga pinsan nila ang tama. ang mga _____ ang laging tama.
that's why my father was so bitter all his life. he grew up na inaapi and kinukutya ng mga mas "nakakataas" sa kanya. kaya may deep-seated anger siya sa mga mayayaman. galit din siya sa mga kamag-anak ng nanay niya. kaya we never really got to know that side of the family. well anyway, i'm not that interested.
gusto ko magalit sa lola ko. i mean, bakit nya pa kasi pinagsiksikan sarili niya sa panilya nya eh itinakwil na nga siya. in a way pinagpalit niya ang sarili niyang pamilya just to win the good graces of her parents and siblings. at the expense of her children's and husband's emotional stability and happiness.
what do i care? kasi we also bore the brunt of my father's bitterness and anger. and he always felt he was inferior. when i analyze all the things that happened and the causes and effects of things in our lives, dun ko pa rin nate-trace eh...sa ginawa ng lola ko.
kaso ano magagawa ko? mapapagalitan ko ba lola ko? for a time i hated my lola for that. pero wala naman magagawa ang hate. it's all in the past. pero i don't want to have anything to do with them in the future. wala lang. hindi sila kasama kahit sa periphery ng horizon ko.
nakikipag-friendster yung _____ clan sa akin. tagal na nakabinbin sa friends for approval ko yung invitation na yun. di ko naman sila kilala and wala akong intention makipagkilala sa kanila.
hah. nahawa ako ng bitterness. it's bad, i know. pero mas maganda nang wala akong naririnig na mga kwento sa kanila.
