HATE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH NUMBERS
i know i'm not bobo but when it comes to math, my world turns upside down. i don't know why. all my life i think i've been having troubles with math.
maybe because i wasn't able to memorize the multiplication table. maybe because i wasn't taught how to do finger math (never figured that one out) nor the abacus, something the east asians are so good at.
maybe because i was traumatized by this gradeschool teacher of mine who threw books at anyone who commited a mistake when solving fractions of the board. she shouted at anyone who committed mistakes with numbers. she calls math laggards bobo. maybe i could trace my abhorrence and fear of solving math problems to her.
to make matters worse, i even had her for a tutor. really, an honor student who needed tutoring in math. it was only later that my mother realized that SHE (the teacher) was the real reason why i fear math. too late. tsk tsk tsk.
since then my math grades went downhill. math has always been my waterloo. i was supposed to take the philippine science highschool entrance exam in grade 6 (when everyone at school then was about to take it, especially the honor students) but decided against it later when i admitted to myself my math grades would not earn me a passport there. my other grades were really good (esp. my science and english) but math -- baah!
then came highschool.
i wanted a brand new start so studied diligently. i even managed to top one math periodical exam. IMAGINE THAT! i thought i finally got over my math-phobia.
then second year came wherein we had to take up two math subjects. gusto lang nila advanced kami. brutal school ko. my troubles again resurfaced. because i knew i'll be drowning again in my own shit, i often went to the faculty room and consult my math professor at that time and did extra exercises for extra credit so i can salvage my near-death grades. thankfully my math subjects stayed above 80.
third year, we had to take up three math subjects...wala lang, brutal highschool ko. ah pocha gusto ko nang mamatay nun kasi puro math na naman. pag nagsosolve ng problems sa math, pag malapit na ako, nagme-may-i-go-out ako para maligtangan ako. elemetary pa lang ganon na drama ko. everytime i go in our math classes, my stomach did funny twists inside of me. sa gandang kapalaran, napako na ang grade ko sa 78. me isang quarter na red mark ako sa intro to college algebra. basta di na umkayat ang mga maths ko sa 79.
hire na naman ng tutor nanay ko.
fourth year, dalawa ang math ko. yung ibang henyo sa amin (sa amin kasi me advanced math classes, yung mga nilalang na sinuwerte sa talento sa math) nagtake pa ng calculus so bale tatlo ang math nila. ok na ako sa dalawa lang, thank you. i opted to take computer science instead. at least mga binaries lang ang poproblemahin ko: 100101010001010101000101010000010101011110000.
dahil pahirap na nang pahirap ang buhay ko with math, napako ang grade ko na naman sa 78. sa statistics lang ata ako nagka-81. anjan pa rin si tutor. hay nako, buti naman tanggap ng mga magulang ko na hopeless talaga ako sa math kaya di na nila makuha pa akong pagalitan. alam nilang useless.
siguro naawa na sa akin yung teacher ko (alam naman nya kasi siguro na di ako bobo talaga, di ko lang talaga maintindihan ang sin/cosin/tan), pinartner nya ako sa isa sa mga pinakahenyo sa amin sa math para sa paggawa ng exercises. nahila naman ang grade ko pero syempre most of the time sya ang nagsosolve for X. sa awa ng diyos eh nung magcollege kami, yung partner kong yun eh nag-advanced placement exam ng math at freshman pa lang kami exempted na agad siya sa math 17 and 36 kaya pagpasok pa lang namin first sem math 37 na agad siya kaklase nya mga third year na. cum laude siya ng chem eng. saya noh?
math 11, dos ako. not bad. buti na lang tamad teacher ko.
para sa math 14, naghire na naman ng tutor nanay ko. hirap na hirap pa rin ako. para makapasa, nag-finals ako. 3 points away from failing the subject. kumbaga ang passing 55, ako eh 58. whew! tres. halleluiah!
stat 1 (o stat 101 sa ibang campus), i took it up during summer para dun lang ako nakatutok. atsaka may rumors na mas madali ang stat pag summer dahil madalian at di kasabay ang mga stat majors. hehe. pasang-awa ako. tres. dinasalan ko talaga yang tres na yan.
--
ano nga ba ang meron at di ko talaga siya maintindihan?
kasi ako visual akong tao. hanggat di ko navivisualize sa utak ko, hindi ko siya naiintidihan. di ko mavisualize ang math. it's so abstract to me...it doesn't talk to me like biology does. yung economics ko nun di ko mavisualize kaya dos lang ata ako dun. same thing: it's so abstract kasi. ngayon ko lang napagtanto na ang economics is about relationships and math is there just to quantify the relationships or to prove the theories.
but math is math. it's pure abstract to me. i can't picture it like when i visualize a mitochondria or the difference between meiosis and mitosis... sabi ng tatay ko logic lang daw ang math. i'm sorry, wala akong logic. i don't operate in "logical" world.
--
simple computations are needed in my job now so i mostly rely on calculators and spreadsheets to do the work for me. mas lalo na ako naging bobo sa math. mental math di ko na magawa. grabe. di ko na maalala ang 4x9.
note to self: train my future kids in multiplication table. enroll them in piano lessons as they say musical training early in life improves mathemathical abilities. teach them chess.
ayoko maranasan nila ang hirap na dinanas ko sa math.
maybe because i wasn't able to memorize the multiplication table. maybe because i wasn't taught how to do finger math (never figured that one out) nor the abacus, something the east asians are so good at.
maybe because i was traumatized by this gradeschool teacher of mine who threw books at anyone who commited a mistake when solving fractions of the board. she shouted at anyone who committed mistakes with numbers. she calls math laggards bobo. maybe i could trace my abhorrence and fear of solving math problems to her.
to make matters worse, i even had her for a tutor. really, an honor student who needed tutoring in math. it was only later that my mother realized that SHE (the teacher) was the real reason why i fear math. too late. tsk tsk tsk.
since then my math grades went downhill. math has always been my waterloo. i was supposed to take the philippine science highschool entrance exam in grade 6 (when everyone at school then was about to take it, especially the honor students) but decided against it later when i admitted to myself my math grades would not earn me a passport there. my other grades were really good (esp. my science and english) but math -- baah!
then came highschool.
i wanted a brand new start so studied diligently. i even managed to top one math periodical exam. IMAGINE THAT! i thought i finally got over my math-phobia.
then second year came wherein we had to take up two math subjects. gusto lang nila advanced kami. brutal school ko. my troubles again resurfaced. because i knew i'll be drowning again in my own shit, i often went to the faculty room and consult my math professor at that time and did extra exercises for extra credit so i can salvage my near-death grades. thankfully my math subjects stayed above 80.
third year, we had to take up three math subjects...wala lang, brutal highschool ko. ah pocha gusto ko nang mamatay nun kasi puro math na naman. pag nagsosolve ng problems sa math, pag malapit na ako, nagme-may-i-go-out ako para maligtangan ako. elemetary pa lang ganon na drama ko. everytime i go in our math classes, my stomach did funny twists inside of me. sa gandang kapalaran, napako na ang grade ko sa 78. me isang quarter na red mark ako sa intro to college algebra. basta di na umkayat ang mga maths ko sa 79.
hire na naman ng tutor nanay ko.
fourth year, dalawa ang math ko. yung ibang henyo sa amin (sa amin kasi me advanced math classes, yung mga nilalang na sinuwerte sa talento sa math) nagtake pa ng calculus so bale tatlo ang math nila. ok na ako sa dalawa lang, thank you. i opted to take computer science instead. at least mga binaries lang ang poproblemahin ko: 100101010001010101000101010000010101011110000.
dahil pahirap na nang pahirap ang buhay ko with math, napako ang grade ko na naman sa 78. sa statistics lang ata ako nagka-81. anjan pa rin si tutor. hay nako, buti naman tanggap ng mga magulang ko na hopeless talaga ako sa math kaya di na nila makuha pa akong pagalitan. alam nilang useless.
siguro naawa na sa akin yung teacher ko (alam naman nya kasi siguro na di ako bobo talaga, di ko lang talaga maintindihan ang sin/cosin/tan), pinartner nya ako sa isa sa mga pinakahenyo sa amin sa math para sa paggawa ng exercises. nahila naman ang grade ko pero syempre most of the time sya ang nagsosolve for X. sa awa ng diyos eh nung magcollege kami, yung partner kong yun eh nag-advanced placement exam ng math at freshman pa lang kami exempted na agad siya sa math 17 and 36 kaya pagpasok pa lang namin first sem math 37 na agad siya kaklase nya mga third year na. cum laude siya ng chem eng. saya noh?
math 11, dos ako. not bad. buti na lang tamad teacher ko.
para sa math 14, naghire na naman ng tutor nanay ko. hirap na hirap pa rin ako. para makapasa, nag-finals ako. 3 points away from failing the subject. kumbaga ang passing 55, ako eh 58. whew! tres. halleluiah!
stat 1 (o stat 101 sa ibang campus), i took it up during summer para dun lang ako nakatutok. atsaka may rumors na mas madali ang stat pag summer dahil madalian at di kasabay ang mga stat majors. hehe. pasang-awa ako. tres. dinasalan ko talaga yang tres na yan.
--
ano nga ba ang meron at di ko talaga siya maintindihan?
kasi ako visual akong tao. hanggat di ko navivisualize sa utak ko, hindi ko siya naiintidihan. di ko mavisualize ang math. it's so abstract to me...it doesn't talk to me like biology does. yung economics ko nun di ko mavisualize kaya dos lang ata ako dun. same thing: it's so abstract kasi. ngayon ko lang napagtanto na ang economics is about relationships and math is there just to quantify the relationships or to prove the theories.
but math is math. it's pure abstract to me. i can't picture it like when i visualize a mitochondria or the difference between meiosis and mitosis... sabi ng tatay ko logic lang daw ang math. i'm sorry, wala akong logic. i don't operate in "logical" world.
--
simple computations are needed in my job now so i mostly rely on calculators and spreadsheets to do the work for me. mas lalo na ako naging bobo sa math. mental math di ko na magawa. grabe. di ko na maalala ang 4x9.
note to self: train my future kids in multiplication table. enroll them in piano lessons as they say musical training early in life improves mathemathical abilities. teach them chess.
ayoko maranasan nila ang hirap na dinanas ko sa math.
but i do love numbers, mahirap ba i reconcile?
kaya siguro ako nag BA kasi di naman mahirap math dun...common sense more like it.
sel (Comment this)